Sex between a loving couple includes affection, warmth, and a merging of two energies, that entwine and for a while unite them as one. It is far from the primal act we see in the animal kingdom, where sex is mainly used for dominance or impregnation. As more evolved beings we bring emotional intelligence into the act, that makes it into the most important communication between a pair of lovers.
Sexual intercourse is the most intimate and cherished experience we can share with a loving partner. Sometimes known, as coupling its dictionary definition is “a joining together”. In order to create a bond that unites two consenting adults, you have to actually be together.
However we are fast moving into a world that would prefer us not to be able to experience this wonderful gift, which we humans can share. With distancing becoming the way in which we are now told to live, the guidelines even trespass into this most sacred of acts.
According to the Terrance Higgins Trust, in a BBC article published this week, we now need “to balance our need for sex and intimacy with the risks of the spread of COVID-19”. The Trust has also published advice suggesting people avoid kissing, wear a face covering and choose positions that aren’t face-to-face during sex. Admittedly this advice is mainly aimed at people having sex outside of their home, but it applies to anyone who doesn’t live in your household. I’m sure most couples who don’t live together will overlook this and continue to enjoy a happy, healthy and intimate sex-life together, but what message do statements like these send to young couples starting out together, or to appropriate-aged children learning about the world of sex? To suggest that we as sentient humans deny ourselves and our relationships intimacy because we may get sick, is akin to saying only eat processed food because all natural food may contain living organisms that could make you sick! Of course we should wash our food just as we should practice safe sex, especially if the relationship isn’t long term, or serious. But deeply satisfying sex, isn’t a mechanical function. Its not about just gratifying urges, with a mindless exchange of bodily fluids – its about deeply connecting with your partner, and allowing the energy to flow naturally and beautifully between you. This isn’t a message that can be heard in these cold, emotionless guidelines.
While its important to teach our adolescent youth about safe sex, its even more important to teach them about the deeper meaning of sex between two loving adults – perhaps even more so in these current times where distancing is being sold to us as a way of life. It is now more important than ever that our children learn about healthy, loving connections that they should experience in all their relationships, but also that the intimacy in a sexual bond between two adults is beautiful, healthy and the most natural thing in the world.
I feel as though we need to hold on to the fundamentals in our lives, which make us human, because if we let that go, we are no longer living, but merely existing.
I wish you clarity and calm, but most of all love ❤
LORRAINE EREIRA 